So, it’s getting to be that season again; House-Warming season! I guess? Do I know? I don’t know. Whatever.

Which means you’re in luck. Because this Crafty Hour is great for house-warming parties. You can use this craft as a gift, or - if you’re moving into a house large enough to host a party (lucky) - you can make people do this craft AT YOUR PARTY as a way to get unique dishes to use/decorate with. Or you can decorate them and throw them into the air and shoot them like in Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead. Also fun.

What You Need for DIY Dishware:

Dishware You Don’t Mind Scribbling On

Porcelain Pen Markers

Oven

Artistic Friends

Time

What You Need for Cocktail-Pigs-In-A-Blanket:

Small Cocktail Wieners

Shredded Colby Jack Cheese

Crescent Rolls

BBQ Sauce

Midwestern Heritage

What You Need for Booze:

Wine

An Adult Friend To Inform You That Wine Is What Adults Bring to Housewarming Parties

Disclaimers!

I know I don’t have a cocktail, PER SAY. I have cocktail pigs in a blanket. It has ‘cocktail’ in the name, ok. And they’re delicious. And every house-warming party should have them. And stop.

“The Internet” claims all sorts of methods to make the paint permanent. Some say to let it set for 24 hours. Some say 48 hours. Some say put it in the oven at 300 degrees for a half hour after letting it set for 24 hours and then let it set again for 48 hours. Some say don’t use the tree-house porcelain pens. I agree with all of them.

Which brings me to; DON'T USE TREE HOUSE STUDIO PENS. Most of “The Internet” seems to ignore the fact that these markers SUCK and smudge no matter what you do. So I’m here to tell you that they SUCK and smudge no matter what you do.

Alright, let's make some miracles!

Part I - Making the actual craft that allows you to go to housewarming parties

1.) Scavenge for plates. Thrift stores are great. So are gifts from ex-boyfriend's parents.

2.) Read the directions on the markers, which includes pressing down on “just the tip” to get the “ink flowing.” Just wanted to point that out.

3.) Draw on them!

4.) If you can't draw, write on them!

5.) If you can’t do either of those things, then just color some! I'm sure you can guess which route I took. ....Coloring, ok. I colored.

6.) CAN'T USE THEM YET SORRY. Now you have to let them set for 24 hours. Otherwise they'll smudge and this will all have been a HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

7.) Then bake them. For a half hour? Sure?

Two beers and/or one episode of Community is also a good time marker.

8.) Then let them sit some more. Or something? I regret this. This is taking forever..

This is taking foooooreeeeeeveeerrrrrrrr.

9.) Then bring them into the office so everyone can rejoice or not talk to you.

Remember how I said the marker SMUDGES UGH. Also, how 'bout this picture, huh?

Part II. Making Legit Things to Put on The Plate You Shouldn’t Eat Off Of

AKA Drinky Drink Time Turned Foody Food!

Cocktail Pigs-In-A-Blanket:

1 Package Small Cocktail Wieners

1/2 Cup Shredded Colby Jack Cheese

2 Packages Crescent Rolls

Favorite Barbecue Sauce for Dipping

Wine:

Wine

Cocktail Pigs-In-A-Blanket:

Unroll crescent rolls. Cut each crescent roll into thirds, making 3 small, long triangle strips. Drink wine. Sprinkle shredded cheese over triangles. Drink wine. Staring at one end, roll hot dogs in crescent. Place on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with barbecue sauce or ketchup or wine for dipping. On a meat plate. With wine.

Huzzah! These are totally on the meat plate! Swear!

Well, I have a rule that once cocktail weenies not necessarily on a meat plate enters a blog, it's time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week's Crafty Hour and it brings you hours of friendship happiness.