My best friend is getting married. Which means that I was in charge of the bachelorette party. Which means I did a Crafty Hour at her bachelorette party.

As you can imagine, things got out of hand.

What You Need For DIY Penis Straws:

Straws

Scrapbook Paper

Scissors

String

Sssssss

What you Need For Decorate-Your-Own Wedding Night Undies

A Better Name that you can make into an acronym

Ginormous Undies

Hot Glue Gun

Puffy Paint

Glitter

Flowers

Other Various Items from your Craft Closet

A Craft Closet

Sigh.

What You Need for The P.Diddy:

Ciroc Coconut Vodka

Club Soda

Penis Straw

Disclaimers!

"The P.Diddy" isn’t a very bachelorette-party themed drink name. It's not even a drink name, actually. I just made that name up because it’s his vodka. However, it is very tasty and no-frills. So if you’re planning a bachelorette party and have a thousand other things to worry about, just do this. Also, it has 69 calories so THERE. SEXUAL REFERENCE.

I continued to find puffy paint on various parts of my dress throughout the night, so maybe do these before you change into what you’re wearing. And maybe don’t ask me why there was puffy paint on my ass.

Walmart is a great place to find ginormous panties. Do with that what you will.

Let's Martha Stewart Some Penis Straws!

1.) Get a bunch of different kinds of scrapbooking paper. The more variety, the better.

The more animal print the more waaaaay better. Obviously.

2.) Draw a bunch of penises (free-hand or with a stencil) on the blank side of paper. Giggle the entire way.

Hahaha oh man. I am terrible at drawing penises! But that hasn't stopped me before and it certainly won't stop me now.

3.) Cut out allllll the penises.

4.) Now, I hate to pull a "size matters" but it does. As I've learned (...in this craft...) the larger the penis, the more real estate (ahem) you have to work with.

5.) Rather than try and put the straws through the penises (let's call them markers from now on cuz it's getting weird) I threaded a string through the top and base of the marker and then tied the string to the straw.

This blurry, terrible picture only shows a string through the top. But trust me, you want to do the bottom, too.

6.) Let people choose what penis suits them best and enjoy!

Part II - Onto the Granny Panties!

AKA Lovely and Respectful Wedding Night Undies!

1.) Gather up your granny panties The bigger the better.

2.) Have a few drinks.

3.) Decorate with no shame. Tip: The longer you decorate, the less shame you have.

4.) Hang them on the fence outside of the party so that everyone on Ashland Avenue can see. Sure? Sure.

By the time we came home from the bars, all of these were gone. All.Of.Them.

Part III - The road to decorating is paved with weird decisions

AKA Drinky Drinky Time!

The P.Diddy:

Ciroc Coconut Vodka

Club Soda

A Good Friend To Bring Ciroc Vodka

At Least 4 Different Names You Can Change To When People Start Paying Less Attention To you

Put ice in a glass. Put the Ciroc in the glass. Put Club Soda in the glass. Stir. Garnish with a Penis Straw.

Well I have a rule that once a reused picture has made it's way into a blog it's time to wrap it up. Hope you enjoyed this week's Crafty Hour and it brought you hours of friendship happiness.