For those of us who work and don’t get summers off, back to school time* means basically nothing, face it we're all rats in a losing race. Sigh. But for that same very reason, this time of year is kind of awesome because it means we no longer have to watch kids (and lucky adults) frolic about with the summer wind in their hair and their hands in the air like they just don’t care.

So, in celebration of precious freedom being stolen away from those lucky jerks (WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD), I’ve taken my two favorite things about going back to school and turned them into a Crafty Hour!

*Obviously by school I mean college. It’s not like I was drinking booze while drawing on my Trapper Keeper.

What you’ll need for Book Chandeliers:

-A Book You’re Ok With Tearing Up

-Access To a Laminator Machine

-Ornament Hooks

-A Pin, Needle or Hole Puncher (basically something to make a hole)

-Scissors

-Tape

-A Light on Your Ceiling

-A Chair or Tall Friend

What you’ll need for Catcher in the Rye on the Rocks:

-A bottle of Rye Whiskey

-A Whiskey Glass

-Some ‘Cubes (unless you want to hit it like J.D. Salinger probably did)

Bonus drink: What you’ll need for Hot Sonnie Boy:

-Whiskey

-Tea

-Lemon

-Honey

Part I - Let’s do this.

1.) Rip pages out of the book. Sorrryyyyyyyy. Which brings us to an existential question; Wwhat books do we tear apart? For those of us who don’t have the pleasure of owning text-books we’d like to rip apart (and company policies aren’t as visually pleasing as text-books), we have a bit of a decision to make. Do we use a book we adore, or the Nora Roberts book we “just so happen to own.” A word of advice: think of it as making this book into (possibly) another work of art rather than ripping its guts out in a fury of rage and disrespect. Pretty long step huh.

Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Picture of a small child?

Not sorry. Just kidding, Nora fans. — Not sorry. Just kidding, Nora fans.

2.) Laminate those pretty pages.

3.) Cut the laminated pages into squares and rectangles of different sizes. No need to freak out if they’re not cut into “perfect shapes” – it’ll give your chandlier more texture! However, if you are a neat freak about edges and stuff, might I suggest a paper cutter. Works like a charm, and it’s faster.

4.) Poke a hole in the top and bottom of the shape.

Yep, just like that. Also - why yes, that is a picture of Jesus in the background. GOOD EYE.

5) Put the ornament hook through the top hole of one of the rectangle/square.

6) Now put that hook through the bottom of another square/rectangle, thus linking them together.

7.) Keep linking the shapes together until you’ve created a lovely chain. Make it however short or long as you want – you can always add and take off shapes later. Continue making chains until you have enough to cover your light fixture.

Looks like an unfocused picture of a chain to me. Good job!

Part II – Putting the chains on your light

1) Once you’ve made the number of chains you want, need, or feel like making, you get to put them on your light!

Another unfocused picture of chains! Sweet.

2.) There are two ways to attach the links onto your light, and it depends on your light fixture. Mine actually needed both methods, because my apartment building was obviously built with quality in mind.

2.25) Attach the hook to the top of the metal ring around your light.

Now that is a quality structure right there. I'd also like to point out that this is my bedroom light, and that the "double sin" chain is noted. — Now that is a quality structure right there. I'd also like to point out that this is my bedroom light, and that the "double sin" chain is noted.

2.75 ) Or tape the top of the rectangle/square to the metal part of the light. Just keep like, fire risks in mind.

3.) Once you pick a method, do that to all of your links. Or have your tall friend do it.

4.) Turn on your light, take a sip of your Catcher in the Rye on the Rocks and nod with the knowing satisfaction that you are one class act.

You already saw the finished project at the beginning, so check out this cool picture I took from INSIDE THE CHANDELIER.

Part III – Drinky Drinky Time!

Catcher in the Rye on the Rocks:

2 oz. Rye Whiskey

4 Ice Cubes

1 Whiskey Glass (or whatever glass, really)

Lots of Teenage Angst

Pour 2oz of whiskey into glass over ice. Drink and think about all the things that bother you.

On a laminator, just like J.D. Salinger would have wanted.

Hot Sonnie Boy:

2oz. Whiskey

1-2 Tea bags

Honey

Lemon Juice from 1/2 a lemon

Tea Cup

Knowledge of who Carson McCullers is

Heat up some water. Pour it in a cup over your tea bags. Pour in your whiskey. Add lemon juice and honey and to taste. Let the tea bags seep for about two minutes and then take those hot bags out. Pour that Hot Sonnie Boy into your thermos and bring it to work with you so you can drink it all day Carson McCullers style.

Oh Sonnie Booooy the drink the drink is callinngggg....PAM

Well, I have a rule that once a sad, ridiculous song reference enters a blog, it’s time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week’s Crafty Hour and that it brings you hours of friendship happiness.