Whilst perusing the dungeon/basement of Good Will the other day, I came across a shambled mess of records. And by shambled mess of records, I mean Weird Science Soundtrack, Hawaiian Sunset, Peter Pan, Touch Me (Sexual Version) by the 49ers. So clearly I mean jack pot.

Needless to say, I scooped those gems up and proudly carried them to the cash register. A cool $3.50 later, I was the self-respecting owner of six random and somewhat smelly records. And I had no idea what to do with them. Until last week’s Crafty Hour.

Oh yes that's a Hawaiian Sunset Soundtrack. And yes, the "bowl" on the left was a disaster.

What you’ll need for Record Bowls:

-Vinyl Records You Don’t Care About

-An Oven (Doesn’t Have To Be Clean!)

-Oven-Safe Bowl or Can of Soup

-Another Bowl

-Oven Mitts

-Overall Agility and Quick Movement

-Ability to deal with the fact that your record might be the only one not to melt for no G.D. reason other than Universe conspiring against you.

What you’ll need for a Colt 45:

-Colt45

-Enough humility to actually go into a liquor store and buy one. Or many.

Disclaimers!

I realize that the records I’m using in this post are not actually 45’s. But, if you ask me A) The pun was totally worth it. B) Who doesn’t love an excuse to drink an ice cold Colt45? (no one) C) You probably wouldn’t have realized it if I hadn’t said anything. D) Stop making me justify this.

Let’s get bowling!

1) Preheat your oven to 200 degrees. And sorry about that other pun.

2) Decide how deep of a bowl you’d like and select your oven safe-product accordingly. You'll be placing your record over this product inside the oven to create a concave melty shape. Insider Tip: You can use a can of soup and turn your Crafty Hour into a dinner party! A sad, hungry dinner party

3) Once the oven reaches 200 degrees, place the classy bowl/trashy can upside down into the oven. Then place the record on top of your oven-safe apparatus.

4) While the tunes are beginning to heat up (Get it? Like...the records? And maybe you're also playing music?) find another bowl with the shape/depth that you actually want your vinyl bowl to take. And then just watch how funny your records start to look.

Who needs clean ovens for photo shoots? NOT CRAFTY HOUR HAHAHAHA

I labeled this picture "Fuckup" because it's a literal fuck up and your record should not melt like this. Proof that being bad at crafts isn't my fault.

5) Once the edges of the record are starting to really droop, or it’s been 2 minutes, hot potato that record out of the oven and into the other bowl. Or use oven mitts and just carry it over.

6) So,the real molding takes place once you place the hot vinyl into the bowl outside of the oven. Depending on the shape you want, you can either place the melty vinyl over a bowl or inside it. Maybe decide which way you want to go before this step. But either way, press the record around the shape. And looky here; two lovely examples showing you just what I mean. It’s like I planned it or something:

(Fisting) into a shallow bowl. Just kidding. Politely place it into a shallow bowl.

Over a deep vase. Ugh this one turned out so good and it wasn't mine.

7) While pressing the record into/over the bowl, you can mold the edges into a pattern if you’d like.

8) Let it cool for 10-15 minutes and then BAM you’ve got yourself a vinyl bowl.

LadiesLoveCoolBowl. That makes no sense.

Part II – Drinky Drinky Time!

Honestly, it’s Colt45. I don’t think I should have to do this.

Fine.

First, locate a local liquor store that actually sells Colt45. Might I suggest some place on Colfax, or really any store that seems to have a low supply of pride. Once inside, walk/sneak to the Malt Liquor section (yes, I capitalized Malt Liquor). Quickly grab a Colt45 and walk to the cashier section with your eyes averted (so as to avoid the stares of judgment). Buy it. And yes, you’d like a bag. Quickly leave the store just as inconspicuously as you came in.

You made it! Now crack open that can of sadness and/or satisfaction at your next Crafty Hour and drink in the pun.

Well, I have a rule that once a glorified picture of Colt45 enters a blog, it’s time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week’s Crafty Hour and that it brings you hours of friendship happiness.