There are a lot of craft blogs out there. And a lot of these craft blogs do super cute awesome crafts that look easy but turn out to be hard. And for whatever reason, (there are a lot of reasons - aka SHORTCOMINGS) the craft never turns out looking like the craft in the pictures and you start to freak out and wonder why you tried doing a craft like that in the first place and let's face it you've always known you aren't good at crafts oh god the flashbacks of trying to make a wreath in 5th grade at Lindsay’s grandma’s house are starting and why did I even try I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP.

This one isn’t really like that.

YOU GUYS I MADE THIS AND IT'S NOT THAT TERRIBLE

What you’ll need for Gold Rock Book Ends:

Gold spray paint

Gold leaf and gold adhesive

Hot glue gun

Industrial strength glue

Toothbrush

Cardboard box

A bunch of rocks

Continuous support

What you’ll need for the Gold Digger Cocktail:

Goldschlager cinnamon schnapps

Bailey’s Irish Cream

Vanilla soda

Kanye West Soundtrack (for flavor)

Disclaimers!

So, rocks. Gather a whole bunch of different sizes. Personally, I felt that I had too many big rocks. So I smashed them with a hammer to make them smaller. If you don’t feel like being destructive (even though it’s super fun) just collect small rocks. But, you will need some medium-big ones, too. So…yeah. Rocks.

Gold Leaf. I did not use gold leaf. But I did buy it. So if I want to add more flair I totally could, ok? And you can too, is what I'm saying.

Hot Glue Gun. Also did not use this. But it would have been nice to have during the building process – you can quickly glue the rocks into the shape you want before going industrial glue all over it. Plus, industrial glue, specifically E-6000, takes awhile to set aaaaaaand “causes cancer in California.” Huh.

Continuous suppott. So maybe I did have a little freak out. But when you’re staring at a pile of rocks that won’t set and it’s 10:30 at night and you’ve got work in the morning and the rocks look like pieces of poop you’d freak out too LEAVE ME ALONE.

Gold Digger. Shockingly (not) there are several different drink recipes with the name “Gold Digger,” and they’re mostly shots of sugary ingredients. I chose the one that seemed the least hangover inducing/gross. Plus, we’re a classy establishment over at Crafty Hour. We don’t need to be doing shots while sitting in a room full of glue fumes. COME ON.

Toothbrush. Wouldn’t you like to know. Wouldn’t.you.like.to.know….(You will).

Time to get fake fancy pants? Tis time.

1.) Collect rocks.

Sometimes you stumble upon a huge bed of rocks by work and the next thing you know you’re throwing rocks into a plastic bag wondering if there’ s a coworker watching you from the McDonalds drive-thru who wants to call the police.

2.) Get the homeless man urine off/clean the rocks. This is where the toothbrush comes in.

This pussy sure knows how to clean a rock.

3.) Pick 3-4 rocks with flat sides and bottoms to be your “base.” Put them against your cardboard box and start building your pile!

What? It’s still a box. Do you have large cardboard boxes sitting around your apartment? Well then good, use those.

4) Once you have a shape(ish) you like(ish), start hot gluing that stuff down, girl.

Or just use E-6000 and see where the night takes you.

5) Keep building and gluing.

6) Take a glue-time-out because you’re starting to hear the rocks talk to you.

WHERE AM I WHY IS THIS CHAIR LIKE A GIANT MOUTH.

7) If you're using E-6000 you have to hold them together...for awhile.

This craft is so exciting....the room is starting to spin.

8.) Build a little more. This refers to both the pile itself and your faith in this turning out ok.

Cue fucking freak out I hate you pile of rocks.

9.) Decide to call it a night because you need to let the rocks set and you’re starting to realize what “I can taste colors” feels like.

Part Two – Making Shiny Rocks with a Shiny New Attitude

AKA – Time to spray paint those whores

1.) Spray paint the rocks.

Shake the paint, not the beer. That's called talent. If only the same could be said for the photographer.

2.) Let them dry while you breathe a lot of fresh air and drink your drink.

3.) Agonize over a good selection of books to put between your Rumplestiltskin book-ends and YAY you’re done!

Tickle His Pickle and Jane Eyre. I mean, jane Austen would be proud.

Part IV – Adding fuel to fume fire!

AKA Drinky Drink Time!

Gold Digger:

1.5 oz. Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps

1.5 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream

2 oz. Vanilla Cream Soda

In an ice-filled glass, pour equal parts Goldschlager Schnapps and Bailey’s Irish Cream. Top it off with Vanilla Cream Soda and garnish with a dash of class. Or a cinnamon stick because we all have that laying around. Eventually just drink PBR.

Well, I have a rule that once a cryptic Kanye West lyric enters a blog, it’s time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week’s Crafty Hour and it brings you hours of friendship happiness.